I Don’t Have Time for That Shit

2006:

Yeah, so last August or September or something, I left my old job to become the Chief Technology Officer at a commercial lender and hedge fund in the city where I live, wherever that is. I was a little nervous about the move, since high finance is way down on my list of interests, and high finance people have never really been my cup of tea. Still, with a new baby, I felt it was time to stop farting around and stop choosing my job based upon whether or not they let me wear jeans into the office.

Nevertheless, I sat down and had a discussion with myself, and decided that I'd go ahead and do it, so long as I remained true to myself and all that happy horseshit.

It didn't happen.

The culture of hard money, deals, bottom lines and so forth has seeped into me and spread like ... um, like buttery spread. I’ve learned a lot about human behavior. But the biggest change, for good or ill, is that it clarified an important concept for me

I don't have time for that shit. I really don't.

And it's not really that I don't have time for other stuff. I'm here, aren't I? It's just that I don't have time for a lot of shit.

What shit, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I can't define it, but I know it when I see it. Put it this way - take a situation, person or event. Now ask me if I have time for that shit. There's your answer!

Britney Spears' shaving her head? Come on, I don't have time for that shit. Politics in the newspaper? I'll read it sometimes. Getting my oil changed? No. I don't have time for that shit.

I've seen one film in the past 8 months, and it was a German film with subtitles that I went to with my brother. Why? You guessed it.

I lost my wedding ring 3 weeks ago - the fucking thing just fell off my finger somewhere. I spent a few minutes looking. I don't have time for that shit.

The point here is that I've become very impatient, and I would be willing to have sex with any of you but it has to be quick. Also spay or neuter your pets.