Please Do Not Read Any Of This

Finley’s Fun Center

I wandered into a Southeastern Kentucky chat room once and was fascinated by the people of that area. I ultimately made friends with whom I am still close to this day. After a few hours there, I googled the area and the first thing that popped up was an ad for Finley’s Fun Center, a skating rink in London, Kentucky. The following is the Finley’s chronicles.

<XwritingaboutJimiX> goddamnit, stupid knifetwister..and his finley's fun center..

<AmANDa__HoWARd``[blah]> oh lord dont start talkin about finleys

<knifetwister> no place has pizza like Finley's
<travvy> tell that guy to shut the fuck up..
<travvy> he gets on my nerves with finley's..

<And[The]Gods[Made]Love> all you 'finley's' ppl, im putting on ignnore, i can't take that shit anymore
<And[The]Gods[Made]Love> that's all you fuckers have talked about for 3 weeks
<And[The]Gods[Made]Love> get a fucking life
<EKU_Alexander> it's pissin me off too keith

<x|mIcHeLe|x|WoMbLeS|eAtIn|> dats all i ever hear! is finleyz
<`MaNdIe`[crying-]`HeNsLeY`> me too
<JeRmS[PuNk`RaWkER]> yeahhh
<`MaNdIe`[crying-]`HeNsLeY`> lol
<JeRmS[PuNk`RaWkER]> no kidding
<XxXNinjaWithAPenisXxX> Finely's sucks ass as it is. someone should have robbed that place
<Taylora_Smith> i'll give u alittle advice go some where else to get ppl 2 go 2 finlys because noone is here 2 listen to ppl wanting them to go to finlys

<Krystle_KCHS> FUCK FINLEYS UP THE ASSHOLE
<FuKiN_fINLEYSr> Finley's will fuck you up the asshole
<Krystle_KCHS> I WISH IT WOULD

<Roman_Polanski-> knifetwister, dont ask me to join #finleysfuncenter again
<Roman_Polanski-> fukker
<Roman_Polanski-> ive had about enuf of you

<Jerm^Great^Gazoo^> fuck finleys fun center!!!! sum one should blow up the god damn place

<BBL^Biltch> god shut up with the Finleys shit

<JoHnNy_SaYs_HoSs> fuck a BUNCH O FINLEYS

<knifetwister> Finley's must totally rock
<[V]iRii-> knifetwister: and whys that
<knifetwister> cause it's Finley's, man
<[V]iRii-> did u loose ur mind there or somfin thats all u seem to think of..

<pimp_in_these_hoes> no shit fuck finley's

<Ruby_Jewell> well i will tell u both right now u can take ur crazy talk about Finley's freakin fun center and shove it up ur asssssssssssssssssss
<knifetwister> see, Ruby, that just makes me want to talk about it more
<Ruby_Jewell> moron

<a_pERfect_C|rcle> are u the fucker from ny
<a_pERfect_C|rcle> how the hell did u find out finley's roller rink exsisted

<knifetwister> anyway, if you want to meet and settle this, how about Finley's?
<Chevy^Ch|c-> y does every1 always wanna meet at Finley's?
<eXspeLL> rofl
<eXspeLL> yea for real

<BobbyBall-> knifetwister was on under a chick name
<BobbyBall-> and gave me a #
<BobbyBall-> i called it
<eXspeLL> lmfao
<BobbyBall-> it was finley's fun cntr
<eXspeLL> Laughing My Ass Off
<eXspeLL> knifetwister
<knifetwister> sorry

<Fox_man_ruler> Finley's pizza sucks
<MiLtS_dIvA_aShLeYnApIeR> finley's is shit compared to pats
<knifetwister> Finley's is an acquired taste

<jOsH_tHoMpSoN19london> by god dude, ur finleys shit is pissin me off, nothin but 6-13 yr olds go there, is that where u find ur women or somethin dude? chill on skatin my god, are you some pedophile michael knifetwister or r kelly or something? jeeeeeez

<travvy> knifetwister gets on my nerves.

<CoWaFunGuS> i wish my name was milt..
<knifetwister> I wish my name were Milt Finley
<travvy> that would be a kick ass name..

<jOsH_tHoMpSoN19london> damn it, ima smack finleys outta ya

<i[heart]thesourpuss> keith is my ouija board at your house
<|{EiTH> no its at Kisha's but i can go get it whenever
<|{EiTH> i can get it and give it back..no big deal
<knifetwister> I used a Ouija board once
<knifetwister> It told me "Go to Finley's"
<tgtel> your just a real mental heavy weight arent you

<^gLeNdA^{sIcK}> i take it ur like obsessed w/that place

<WelzY> what's this about shotgunxii playing at finleys?
<Squashsleep> they're not welzy
<WelzY> didnt think so

<BobbyBall> man this fuckin knifetwister better show up tonight like he said
<BobbyBall> i'm gonna ask him to say the word Finley to my face

<Mike_Finley> If you do not come to Finley's, I will crucify each and every one of you on a bloody cross
<_Karen_18> U people r sad
<project_8_6> I think mike needs to shut up before he get's sued big time

<_T|fFaNy_> justin..........did u quit finleys??
<project_8_6> not yet
<_T|fFaNy_> well .......when r u ?
<project_8_6> I dont know.....
<knifetwister> Finley's?
<Cruc|f|Ct|on[IN]Space|busy> ahhh god
<Cruc|f|Ct|on[IN]Space|busy> you had to go and say finley's
<Cruc|f|Ct|on[IN]Space|busy> and get this guy started up again :/
<_T|fFaNy_> well..........
<Cruc|f|Ct|on[IN]Space|busy> he's quiet until you mention fucking finley's

<project_8_6> man Finleys sucks you idiot

<Cruc|f|Ct|on[IN]Space|busy> if you love it so much why dont ya marry it

<LifePhormz_Napalm> is that why u 2 lieing ass faggots claim to rob the finleys fun center, but ur in other states?
<LifePhormz_Napalm> hmmm.....
<LifePhormz_Napalm> fuckin idiots

<project_8_6> why would you be down with finleys?
<Roman_Polanski-> i used to go there when i was about 13
<knifetwister> yo, Finley's is hardcore, man

<BobbyBall> because knifetwister always talks about fucken Finleys and Matt Hurley and makes me look bad
<BobbyBall> I'm gonna beat the next person who mentions knifetwister
<BobbyBall> or Finleys Fucken Fun Center

<Roman_Polanski-> what is your fetish with finleys
<knifetwister> I can't tell
<Roman_Polanski-> you know your dying to
<knifetwister> surely you jest
<Roman_Polanski-> shut up

<HoTT^SeXY^Biltch> hey knifetwister
<HoTT^SeXY^Biltch> im sick of hearing u bitch about Finleys
<Roman_Polanski-> amen
<Roman_Polanski-> why not just shut the hell up about it

<CORTNEY^N^CASSONDRA^n^BEN> ~*Hey knifetwister get off here and go to finleys*~ ok

<Sleeping^Biltch> i was talking to knifetwister
<Sleeping^Biltch> finleys fun whore

<CORTNEY^N^CASSONDRA^n^BEN> fuck a bunch of finleys buddy

<Sleeping^Biltch> har har ima retard im knifetwister
<Bobby^Corleone{aka}CrazyB> GOod GoD i wish Iz as PoPular aS knifetwister
<knifetwister> make fun of me all you want, just don't talk shit about Finley's

<[V]iRii-> knifetwister: ok finleys is more important than jesus, DO NOT GIVE DRUGS TO KIDS

<[V]iRii-> cassondra: now whos to say i would do u? i might catch the hiv ors omshit
<knifetwister> Finley's can cure AIDS
<^CaSsOnDrA^^> fuch u

<knifetwister> Did I hear Finley's?
<_T|fFaNy_> no u didnt
<_T|fFaNy_> so shut the fuck up buddy
<_T|fFaNy_> damn

<R[evolution]> knifetwister, you think i respect what you say? fuck no, you've talked about a goddamn roller rink all night

<project_8_6> man I know everything about Finley's...... but who in the hell is Matt Hurley

<X^GrEaSe^MoNkEy^X> violence is not the answer......
<knifetwister> The answer is Finley's Fun Center
<KaYKaY[aT0m|cRa|nBoW]^b4sSisT> knifetwister..shut up..geebus
<project_8_6> God please dont start on Finleys today

<Mike_Finley> Finley's Fun Center is where God wants you to go
<project_8_6> lol..... mike finley
<p00rb0y_Shuff|e> shit, skating is for 12 year olds dumbass
<p00rb0y_Shuff|e> shut the fuck up
<Foxy_SugarPants> FUCK A BUNCH OF FINELY'S FUNCENTER

<[LocOXII]> what's up with the finleys shit all over theplace ?
<Roman_Polanski-> i asked the same damn thing
<Roman_Polanski-> i can't get a straight answer

<Mike_Finley> If Christ came down off the cross, he'd come to FINLEY'S!!!!!!!
<RoSaLeNe_^MaNdiE> mike finley shut the fuck up!
<p00rb0y_Shuff|e> you guys are fucking idiots, i can't wait until your all burning in hell

<AmAnDa_HoWaRd> gosh.....why r u so obsessed with finleys?

<BobbyBall{sick}> wtf is it with you and fuckin finley's dude

<Ruby_Jewell> please shut up about finley's jay

<_mIcHeLe_WoMbLeS_> y do u all talk bout Finley's for

<_T|fFaNy_> who cares bout finleys

<Mike_Finley> Come to Finley's or I will put uranium in your water supply, you inbred motherfuckers
<MAiNGE> how about i come to finleys and shoot you

<Mike_Finley> Finley's Fun Center is where God wants you to go
<PuTtEr^TaT> ?? don't lie about God man

<LittleOnion> man, that finleys sounds like a dangerous place
<knifetwister> ShotgunXII was supposed to play Finley's, but there were security concerns

<Southron_Gentleman> Both of yall are stupid if you ask me
<^^MATT^HURLEY^^> well, nobody fuckin' asked you
<Mike_Finley> yeah, dickwad
<Mike_Finley> but still come to Finley's http://finleysfuncenter.com/london.htm

<Mike_Finley> If Christ came down off the cross, he'd come to FINLEY'S!!!!!!!
<jOsH_tHoMpSoN19london> i think i would rather have a flood in here, than keep hearin bout finleys, who else agrees?

<Mike_Finley> Come to Finley's and get a free Bible with each paid admission
<jOsH_tHoMpSoN19london> + ignore @ool-18bcd8de.dyn.optonline.net

<ko5o> JEW BASTARD

<l{4yL4> blahhh...someone sing me a good ole' song
<knifetwister> I know the Ballad of Finley's Fun Center

<dc-Talk> ahh my stomach iz hurting from laffing so hard
<Mike_Finley> you'll have an even better time at Finley's, where the laughs never end
<pimp_in_these_hoes> lets boot that finley's shit head

<SoUr^GiRl> i will pay 100 bucks for someone to go steal that big skate from finleys
<Mike_Finley> I will nail your bloody body to a fucking cross
(2 minutes later)
<knifetwister> so, this channel got pretty quiet

<diego_consuego> "Ignore is a powerful thing" (James D. Finley)
<Ruby_Jewell> that James D. Finley quote there is right powerful
<knifetwister> especially the "Finley" part of it
<Ruby_Jewell> don't make me come up there

<SoUr^GiRl> well please someone kick knifetwister/mike_finley

<THE_METHMANN> hey spam head why don't u go with knifetwister tomorrow night to finleys
<THE_METHMANN> so i can kick your ass too

<Proud_Mary> oh please guys, not the Finley's deal again
<Proud_Mary> i beg you

<^SwEeT_LiL_TaB^> who is knifetwister??????????
<^SwEeT_LiL_TaB^> He's talking trash too everyone.
<^LeNa^jO^> n o body knows
<Gone[Pissin]> no clue

<knifetwister> If you don't like Finley's, you should be castrated
<And[The]Gods[Made]Love> you should just be castrated for being so fucking annoying
<S}{elley> what if u can't skate

<AnToNiO_bOnGsMoKuS> goddamn dude if we wanted to fuckin go to finleys we would have went we were 12

<Mike_Finley> If you do not come to Finley's, I will crucify each and every one of you on a bloody cross
* PuTtEr^TaT kicks mike finley for saying stupid stuff about God

<knifetwister> another boring London afternoon
<Peachiepie> yep
<Bogascat> it's boring
<SeRaPh|M> damn straight
<[LocO5626]> indeed
<knifetwister> maybe I'll go somewhere
<knifetwister> hmm ... where can I go to have a good time, any time?
<knifetwister> Maybe a place with some skating
<knifetwister> a little pizza
<knifetwister> hmm .....
<knifetwister> it's gotta be fun
<Bogascat> eww not finleys
<SeRaPh|M> FINLEY'S!
<knifetwister> YES!!!!!!!!!!
<knifetwister> FINLEY'S!!!!!!!!!!
<Bogascat> shew
<knifetwister> what a great idea!!!!
<[LocO5626]> lol
<Peachiepie> lol
<[LocO5626]> yer outa control knifetwister

<knifetwister> If you don't like Finley's, you should be neutered
<^GrEaSe^MoNkEy^> if u like finleys and ur over 10 u should have ur head examined
<knifetwister> If you don't like Finley's and you're over 10, you should be immolated

<ChUkkLeS> Damnit just go there if you like it so damn much

<^GrEaSe^MoNkEy^> im tired of the stupid ass finleys shit and the stupid ass ramblin on about it
<Ruby_Jewell> amen
<ChUkkLeS> No doubt.
<knifetwister> I'm surprised nobody ever thought to ask me nicely
<ChUkkLeS> Could you please stop?
<KaYKaY^B4sS|sT[aT0m|cR4iNb0w]> will you kindly cease talking about finleys?
<S}{elley> knifetwister I'll be your friend if u please stop
<knifetwister> ok, because you asked nicely
<knifetwister> but ....
<knifetwister> I need something else to talk about then
<knifetwister> How about Captain D's Seafood Restaurant?
<S}{elley> dude please

<project_8_6> "Don't let your character get camouflaged with your environment.
<project_8_6> Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors."
<knifetwister> camouflage is good when you play Lazer Tag at Finley's
<PuTtEr^TaT{Depressed}> lol

<big-money-ROB> vote me for player of the year nigga
<knifetwister> vote for Finley's Fun Center for retail establishment of the year

<BigSwilly_has_a_LargeWillie> who is this guy talkin this stuff
<BigSwilly_has_a_LargeWillie> man i have killed for less

<CaRd|aC_Arr3sT3d> No, I'm listenin to Youthanasia
<knifetwister> The Train of Consequences leads to Finley's
<i[heart]thesourpuss> lol
<i[heart]thesourpuss> jay rules
<C0|DandUG|Y> haha

<i[heart]thesourpuss> i wanna b like jay

<CaRd|aC_Arr3sT3d> WTF is it with you and frigin Finley's?

<Peachiepie> good jay..u must work with something to do with finleys or u wouldnt love it so much

<PuTtEr^TaT{Sad}> missin my james
<Crucifiction[IN]Space> yeah it sucks to miss someone
<knifetwister> I miss Finley's
<Ruby_Jewell> knifetwister

<S}{elley> knifetwister stick that finleys crap where the sun dont shine
<knifetwister> what Finley's crap
<S}{elley> u're sendin me finleys crap

<knifetwister> !8ball will I find true happiness at Finley's Fun Center?
<^SlApNuTs^> The 8ball Says: This question will have to go to the Judges... and the Judges give it two thumbs up!
<AmAnDa_HoWaRd> thats just wrong

<}Frogg{> the problem with clay county
<}Frogg{> is that it isnt animated by some evil voodoo spirit that rises up and kills everyone every so many minutes.
<knifetwister> wait, would this evil spirit destroy Finley's Fun Center?
<k|m^^--> o hush knifetwister

<knifetwister> I was fiending for some Finley's the other day
<knifetwister> actually, every day!!!
<CoWaFunGuS> u fucking suck dood

<ThirdDayGirl> why do you guys always talk about finleys?
<ThirdDayGirl> do you hang out there?
<spamhead001> it's not me ThirdDayGirl, it's knifetwister, he's been sending out finley's ads and pissing people off

<Am`Berly^^--> LoL, what's the deal w/ this finley's thing?
<ThirdDayGirl> I dunno.
<OHE> yeah whats up with that shit

<Rosalene_^Lindsey_^Mandie> finleys sucks cock
<knifetwister> Rosalene_^Lindsey_^Mandie sucks Finley's cock

<Chasey`Lynn> you're still talking about finleys, knifetwister?

* ShAwN slaps [Milo||Smith] around a bit with a large cactus!
* knifetwister slaps ShAwN around a bit with the oversized skate from Finley's Fun Center
<X^GrEaSe^MoNkEy^X> haha

<mangled-Messiah> anyone know knifetwister?
<Foxy_SugarPants> I do
<Tiffany^Deaton> i do
<McCrank^SVT^COBRA> yea me
<knifetwister> me too
<McCrank^SVT^COBRA> he's a dick ass.........bitch i think
<McCrank^SVT^COBRA> whos needs to drop the shit about finleys

<Fireproof_Project_86> hey Jay I quit tonight
<BrittBratt> r u serious justin?
<knifetwister> quit Finley's?
<Fireproof_Project_86> yeah buddy
<knifetwister> you mean there's an opening?
<Fireproof_Project_86> walked out on those a-holes
<knifetwister> hey!

<V|xxen> I wish I had an obsession with finleys...

<TaBiThA_bRaY> y in the hell r u all posting stuff about finley's on here anyways?
<spamhead001> i have no clue TaBiThA_bRaY, i have no clue what finleys is

<CoWaFunGuS> the finley's shit was kinda funny at first..but goddamn..
<CoWaFunGuS> knifetwister takes it way beyond the point of humor

<knifetwister> "Yo, we chillin' in Finley's by da great big skate
<knifetwister> I'm oMan, here to say, don't Finley's-hate"
<V|xxen> hahaha
<knifetwister> followed by some beatboxing
<EmPty_G|rL> lmao
<EmPty_G|rL> jay....shew....still going on about finley's I see..
<BrandoN_Smith_> lool

<Crucifiction[IN]spacE[A]> finley's was totally cool, when i was in 5th grade....it was fun then
<knifetwister> life is a circle

<CoWaFunGuS> knifetwister..i saw bobby ball about 3 hours ago
<CoWaFunGuS> pretty close to finley's actually
<FINleys-IS-Burnt> yeahh he sucked your dick at finleys like a year ago that y u like it so
<knifetwister> I don't like Finley's
<knifetwister> I LOVE Finley's

<^Brandles^> noone actually understands you either knifetwister
<knifetwister> what's not to understand?
<knifetwister> I speak in plain English
<^Brandles^> no you speak in plain finley's english knifetwister, that's all you ever talk about and you have never even been there

<^--{ChAs3y}--^> matt hurley is ur daddy knifetwister. ur just mad that u didn't think to rob finelys first
<knifetwister> finelys?
<knifetwister> spell it right, chase
<^--{ChAs3y}--^> that is not my freaking name
<knifetwister> give Finley's the respect it deserves
<^--{ChAs3y}--^> FINLEYS can suck my toe